Lice outbreak in DC

WASHINGTON—Eighteen senators were sent home from Congress Tuesday after a routine screening found an infestation of nits, larvae, and adult parasites living on the scalps of high-ranking Washington lawmakers.

The outbreak of head lice, which many are calling the worst in U.S. Senate history, has brought the Capitol to a standstill, with presiding officer Vice President Joe Biden suspending all daily sessions until further notice.

"I regret to inform the American people that the Senate chamber has been struck by a devastating case of lice," majority leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said. "Although we've already dismissed a number of afflicted senators, and thrown out most of their personal belongings, it is imperative that this issue be resolved as quickly as possible."

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According to Beltway insiders, this is the worst contagion to hit the federal government since 2004, when a single infected gavel gave the entire Supreme Court crabs.