illustration by Ashley Holt
story by Troy England Evitt
Only in a town like this could a two-bit palooka like me from Hoboken with a busted nose and a slack jaw get a shot at promoting Billy Carlucie, the Soup Kitchen Brawler. The little bastard fought like a caged monkey on opium. He had heart, he had guts. Hell, he had what would've been his identical twin growing out of his left shoulder blade. You'd think there was two of them the way you'd see the little freak roll his eyes and spit. But then, that was the kid's edge. Half the time, the contender would forfeit from the sheer horror of it all. The other half the time, Billy'd get the living shit beat out of him, but he'd still win 'cause the little half-twin thing would push him up before the ref could declare a TKO. Tell ya what, buddy boy, dem was the days.
He had a promising shot at the title. Then one day he gets drunk before a bout with Chicken Willie. It was a real ruckus! Billy went down in the third round. Passed out or knocked out, it was over. After that, he was never the same. He hired some muscle and a mouthpiece to fix his fights. He started letting the little twin-thing drive. Pretty soon, he was letting it box in fixed fights while he signed autographs. Then, one day, they found him dead. no one was sure if he choked on vomit or burned to death.
contact Ev at: firstname.lastname@example.org
investigate Ashley at:www.thrdgll.com
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Bush is my shepherd, I shall be in want.
He maketh me lie down on park benches,
He leadeth me beside the still factories.
He restoreth my doubts about the Republican Party.
He leadeth me into the paths of unemployment for his cronies’ sake.
Yea, though no weapons of mass destruction have been found, he maketh me continue to fear Evil.
His tax cuts for the rich and his deficit spending discomfort me.
He annointeth me with never-ending debt.
Verily my days of savings and assets are kaput.
Surely poverty and hard living shall follow me all the days of his administration,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.
(via Angry Finger)
Posted by cuddlefish at 8:29 AM
Friday, October 01, 2004
Got a pair of fishnets that need tearing? Dying for the opportunity to tackle The Wrench or jam against Cat Tastrophe? Now's your chance! We're having invitation-only try-outs for the 2005 Season. They only come once a year, y'all, so if you want to tryout, please email Dinah-Mite to get on the tryout list.
Date: Monday, October 10
Time: 8:00 - 10:00 p.m.
Where: Playland Skate Center, 8822 McCann (183 & Burnet)
The try-outs will be attended only by the league coaching staff, team captains/co-captains, and those trying out. Please do not bring extra people with you; out of respect for all skating hopefuls, the try-outs are closed to the public. What you need for try-outs: a positive attitude, pads/helmet and quad skates. You must be 21 to play in our league.
Want to try out? You MUST email Dinah-Mite at email@example.com
Posted by cuddlefish at 8:28 AM
Tena and athenae on the debate.
Posted by cuddlefish at 7:38 AM
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Posted by cuddlefish at 8:57 AM
Speak out on behalf of NATIONAL HOUSING TRUST FUND.
CONTACT YOUR REPRESENTATIVE–urge them to sign the discharge petition for HR 1102-----the National Housing Trust Fund !)
Call, email, or send a fax to your Representative in the House. You may find contact information for your Representative at www.house.gov. A simple phone call would work:
1-800-839-5276, or 202 224 3121 for the Capitol Switchboard. When you make your phone call simply say:
"I am a constituent from _______, I urge Representative _________, to sign the discharge petition for the National Housing Trust Fund bill HR 1102. We must address the Housing Emergency in this country."
"The National Affordable Housing Trust Fund would provide families with safe and affordable housing. It is an investment in our nation's families and communities that will pay dividends for generations to come," "Working families in San Francisco and across the country should not be forced to choose between housing, health care, food, and other basic needs." –(this is a quote from Nancy Pelosi–Rep from California who is working to bring this critical legislation to the floor of the House of Representatives for a vote.) According to the National Low-Income Housing Coalition, 60 percent of San Francisco renters are unable to afford a two bedroom unit. A San Francisco renter, earning minimum wage, must work 160 hours per week to afford a one bedroom unit. According to the City of San Francisco, only 12 percent of households can afford to purchase the median priced home, and there are an estimated 3,000 chronically homeless in San Francisco. The National Affordable Hous! ing Trust Fund (H.R. 1102) would be modeled on the more than 280 successful state and local housing trust funds. It would fund the building, rehabilitation, and preservation of at least 1.5 million rental units over the next decade for low-income families. Funding may be used to create permanent and supportive housing units, and promote homeownership. This legislation has 214 bipartisan cosponsors in the House of Representatives, and is supported by more than 5,200 community organizations across the county. Currently, 134 Members of the House have signed the discharge petition. A total of 218 Members must sign in order to force a vote on the bill.
At this time Republican House leadership are keeping this legislation from reaching the floor of the house for a vote.
Contact your Representative and urge them to sign the discharge petition that will force a vote on this bill.
Posted by cuddlefish at 6:57 AM
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
The explosive experience generally known as roller derby is a vehicle for significant social change in the United States and as such, through the years has been oppressed by the powers that be. Today, The Derby Liberation Front is here to represent roller derby in its struggle against its oppressors -- We stand steadfastly, and equipped to promote a revolutionary agenda and prepared to take
pervasive action to defend its principles. We believe that all rollergirls are created equal and with certain unalienable rights - that among these are life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and the right to skate. Skating by the people, for the people.
Posted by cuddlefish at 8:52 PM
From Mouse Words:
Okay, it's hilarious that the newspaper in Crawford is endorsing Kerry. It's pathetic that the AP headline tries to minimize this by drawing attention to the size of the town. The article itself is especially aggravating as the AP writer continues to pee all over this small town paper by drawing attention to its small circulation and the fact that it's new.
I'm from a small Texas town and I can assure you this is not as small a thing as they want it to be. Many small town papers breeze over politics if they can help it, because small town people are bored and there's always someone who will start a personal vendetta against the editor of the paper if his politics are different than theirs. Texas small town newspapers' main job is to report on high school football and publish lots and lots of pictures of the local citizens so they have clippings for their scrapbooks.
It's not just that he's lost Crawford, which could be an indicator that rural people everywhere are fed up; it's that without the carefully constructed image of him as an Everyman from Anywhere, TX where they are just bursting with pride at their boy done good, he could lose a lot more people who vote for him for that reason. The story will probably be buried, but let's hope that every comedy writer on TV just can't resist cracking on it.
Posted by cuddlefish at 10:40 AM
October - 2004 Finals!
Get ready for the roughest, toughest, rowdiest, howdiest Rock'n'Rollerderby bout of the season... the 2004 Finals. Comin' at ya on Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! October 24...
Date: Sunday, October 24
Time: Doors at 6:30
Location: Playland Skate Center, 8822 McCann (183 & Burnet)
Bands: the Spits - (half-time) Raw, snotty, and sometimes costumed, the Spits are pogo music for party people who can't stand still, showing off a punk record collector's affinity for the more obscure sounds of the '70s underground. -The Stranger
With a special appearance by the Boom Chica Boom - Go Go Girls.
Tickets: $12 in advance, $15 at the door. Buy 'em at Beerland, Playland, and Cheapo Discs.
After party: Jackalope, bad ass sponsors of the Hustlers
Mark yer calendars, y'all!
Posted by cuddlefish at 9:49 AM