Friday, August 19, 2005

friday random ten


Randy "Buscuit" Turner Edition (Big Boys and Swine King songs)

We're Not in it to Lose
Out of Focus
Meanest Man Alive
Thin Line
Young Boys Feet
Shiny Lime
Narrow View
Gator Fuckin
Fun, Fun, Fun

An informal wake will be held tonight at 7 pm at Pedazo Chunk, 2009 S. First.

RIP Buscuit

Beloved punk icon Randy "Biscuit" Turner was found dead in his home Thursday afternoon, the same day a feature story about him appeared in the The Austin Chronicle.

Altanta Rollergirls Season Opener

The flat track Atlanta Rollergirls will skate their season opening bout this Sunday, August 21st.

Sunday, August 21.

All American Skating Center - Stone Mountain, GA.

Tickets are $8 in advance, $10 at the door.

Doors open at 6 pm, bout at 7 pm.

Visit the Atlanta Rollergirls website for more info.

tags: , , ,

friday briefs

The General: Real Men Aren't Afraid to Toss a Few Salads

Los Angeles County Gets Circumcised (via DED Space)

Santorum (R-PA) net approval rating at -4%


Thursday, August 18, 2005

Iron Curtain vs. FTW

The flat track Tucson Roller Derby skates this Saturday, August 20th.

The Iron Curtain takes on the Furious Truckstop Waitresses.

Saturday, August 20.


Tickets are $8 in advance, $10 at the door.

Doors open at 6:30 pm, bout at 7 pm.

Please check the Tucson Roller Dreby website for more info.

tags: , , , ,

Idol of the Dead

Found on Craigslist

Haven't you always wanted to raise awareness about the brain-melting nature of television by putting on makeup, pretending -- along with 40 other people -- to be a zombie, and terrorizing throngs of vapid pop star hopefuls at the Austin American Idol Auditions? Yes? Well here's your chance! The American Idol Auditions will be taking placing on Thursday, August 25 at the Frank Erwin Special Events Center (right by the stadium on the UT campus).

Ideally, we'll have 35-40 zombies, 5 or 6 plants in line (who will then be "attacked and zombified" by the horde) and two or three people taking pictures/videotaping. I'm thinking that the zombie horde will besiege the Idol hopefuls beginning sometime between 10:00 and noon. Oh, and just so we're clear, this is meant to be fun/funny, not mean/violent, and, as such, we'll be working from the old-school George Romero staggering/shuffling school of zombie-ism, not the new 28 Days Later feral-fast zombie style.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Windy City Rollers "Birthday Bash" Recap

"Windy City Rollers: the Birthday Bash"
Sunday, Aug. 14, Congress Theater, Chicago
Photos by Nervous Jay.

About fifteen minutes before the doors of the Congress Theater open to the crowds of derby fans who will later fills the seats, all four Windy City Rollers teams--Hell's Belles, the Fury, the Double Crossers, and Manic Attackers, are gathered on the track. In the middle of the pack stands "Slamming Sammy" Skobel, Roller Derby Hall of Fame member and three-time MVP. "What the mind can conceive and believe, can achieve," he says to the skaters, and of the bout only an hour away, "I'm sure I'm really going to enjoy it."

What sets this bout apart from the previous ones is the fact that it is the birthday of roller derby which was born in Chicago seventy years ago. Hall of Fame superstars like Slamming Sammy and Ivy King, Derby's first Queen. Onstage sits an enormous birthday cake from which Herbie Derbie pops out in full Marilyn Monroe glamour to sing a birthday tribute. And then...derby time.

Facing off first are the Manic Attackers and Double Crossers. The Skater Tots have graduated into full-fledged Derby Dames and are making their debut tonight; the Manic Attackers, with five fresh recuits, have the most new faces in the league. "We know how desperately you need new recruits," snarls the Double Crossers' Lucy Furr into the mic she stole away from Manic Mo Vengeance. Jamming first are Ana Mission...from God for the Double Crossers and J'Illegal for the Manic Attackers. Ana leads the jam after Angel Dustt shoulders out J'Illegal and scores the first three points of the night. At one point the pack gets completely broken up to reveal Mo Vengeance and Lucy Furr in full fist-slinging fury, picking up where their verbal sparring left off. Oprah Whip Me and Gayle Queen, punishment moguls extraordinaire, step in and take care of business. With three minutes remaining the score is tied at 20-all. J'Illegal puts on the jammer cap once again and scores 4 points as the clock ticks down. The half ends: Manic Attackers 35, Double Crossers 28.

Up next are the Fury vs. the undefeated Hell's Belles. Belle Quiet Storm and Fury's Crimson Crusher are the first jammers, and after two minutes the score is tied at 4-4. Penny Royalty and Anya Back collide, and then make their fists collide with each other's heads until Oprah storms the track to dish out more punishment. Quiet Storm leads the next jam, and the Fury gets scored on more times than your mom. Overall the skating in this bout has been tighter around the corners, resulting in a speedier match, harder falls, and heated brawls. Action pauses again as the refs pull apart punch-throwing Anita Bier and Killy KaPOWski. The half ends, Belles still leading 53-41.

After an action-packed intermission that included a match race in which Chicago Ace beat down Cleveland's Bob "Big Bird" Pancioli for trash-talking the Derby Dames and heartfelt applause for the Hall of Famers in the audience, the Manic Attackers and Double Crossers return to the track to finish what they started. Ana Mission and J'Illegal face off in their jammer caps yet again, but it isn't long before the omnipresent Oprah and Gayle serve up some punishment to the punch-happy Lady Fingers and Jackie Trip'Her. The brawls only get worse as Val Capone and Shirley Temple of Doom come to blows, and at one point Double Crosser CoCo BangBang, sidelined with a strained ACL, charges in from the wings to bite the ankle of a ref. When the second half ends, the Manic Attackers secure their first win, 69-50, but their victory lap is interrupted as the furious Double Crossers storm the track , resulting in an all-team brawl. An announcer sums it up: "70 years and it's come to this."

After the bodies are cleared away, Hell's Belles and the Fury begin their second half, Quiet Storm and Crimson Crusher, two of the most popular jammers, starting off. The action is brutal as Ann Putation sends Anita Bier to the floor. Hell's Belles still lead 63-50 with less than 10 minutes remaing. The Fury get a huge boost when Kami Sutra scores a grand slam by lapping Belle jammer Lisa Diesel. However, the Hell's Belles don't lose their lead, and despite some serious scoring by Kami Sutra, the Belles triumph in a close match, 101-98 and remain undefeated.
-Kim Nelson

tags: , , ,

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Dairyland Dolls vs. Gotham Girls

Dairyland Dolls vs. Gotham Girls

Wisconsin's Mad Rollin' Dolls will hit the road to skate against New York's Gotham Girls this Friday, August 19th.

Dairyland Dolls vs. NYC Gotham Girls

Friday, August 19.

Skate Key, 220 E. 138th Street, Bronx, NY.

Tickets are $12 general admission, $25 VIP.

Doors open at 7:30 pm, bout at 8:30 pm.

Dairyland Dolls Roster
Crackerjack #100
Pam Demonium #6801
Mouse #4
Carrie A Hacksaw #24
Dolly Pardon Me #925
Frenchie #22
Hell Kat #0
Ilsa Von Blutsterne #9
Jewels of Denile #99
Paine Mansfield #888
Scabs #8
S.i.D. VI #VI
Sweet Pea #84
Tatum Tantrum #97
Vanna Whitetrash #28
Predator #10
Yngrid Murdersteen #13

NYC Gotham Girls Roster
Rippin Kittin #8
Rolletta Lynn #01
Suzy Hotrod #55
Ginger Snap #80
Carmen Monoxide #12
Anne Phetamean #7
Lil' Red Terror #19
Donna Matrix #2
Chassis Crass #11
Leggs Luthor #77
Ariel Assault #23
Baby Ruthless #13
Roxy Balboa #44
Penny Larceny #06
Emma Badapple #9

tags: , , ,

Monday, August 15, 2005

Condolences to the Portland Roller Derby Community.

My heart goes out to you.

monday briefs

LAWRENCE, Mass. — A man who was named “Marine of the Year” last month for his service in Iraq injured two people when he fired a shotgun from his apartment window at a group of revelers leaving a night club, police said.

Superhero Takes On Monkeyfaced President's Helper


Paul Krugaman on the chimps Social Security Lies

Many pundits and editorial boards still give Mr. Bush credit for trying to "reform" Social Security. In fact, Mr. Bush came to bury Social Security, not to save it. Over time, the Bush plan would have transformed Social Security from a social insurance program into a mutual fund, with nothing except a name in common with the system F.D.R. created.

In addition to misrepresenting his goals, Mr. Bush repeatedly lied about the current system. Oh, I'm sorry - was that a rude thing to say? Still, the fact is that Mr. Bush repeatedly said things that were demonstrably false and that his staff must have known were false. The falsehoods ranged from his claim that Social Security is unfair to African-Americans to his claim that "waiting just one year adds $600 billion to the cost of fixing Social Security."

asscroft and turd blossom face new allegations

Murray Waas in the Village Voice

The new disclosures as to why Ashcroft recused himself from the Plame case and why a special prosecutor was named are important for a number of reasons:

First, they show that from the very earliest days of the criminal probe, federal investigators had a strong belief and body of evidence that Rove and perhaps other officials might be misleading them.

Second, the new information underscores that career Justice Department staffers had concerns that the continued role of Ashcroft and other political aides might tarnish the investigation.

Finally, the new information once again highlights the importance of the testimony of journalists in uncovering whether anyone might have broken the law by disclosing classified information regarding Plame. That is because both Rove and I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby, the chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney—who are at the center of the Plame investigation—have said that they did not learn of Plame's employment with the CIA from classified government information, but rather journalists; without the testimony of journalists, prosecutors have been unable to get to the bottom of the matter.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Someone Tell the preznit the War is Over

Frank Rich

LIKE the Japanese soldier marooned on an island for years after V-J Day, President Bush may be the last person in the country to learn that for Americans, if not Iraqis, the war in Iraq is over. "We will stay the course," he insistently tells us from his Texas ranch. What do you mean we, white man?

A president can't stay the course when his own citizens (let alone his own allies) won't stay with him. The approval rate for Mr. Bush's handling of Iraq plunged to 34 percent in last weekend's Newsweek poll - a match for the 32 percent that approved L.B.J.'s handling of Vietnam in early March 1968. (The two presidents' overall approval ratings have also converged: 41 percent for Johnson then, 42 percent for Bush now.) On March 31, 1968, as L.B.J.'s ratings plummeted further, he announced he wouldn't seek re-election, commencing our long extrication from that quagmire.

But our current Texas president has even outdone his predecessor; Mr. Bush has lost not only the country but also his army. Neither bonuses nor fudged standards nor the faking of high school diplomas has solved the recruitment shortfall. Now Jake Tapper of ABC News reports that the armed forces are so eager for bodies they will flout "don't ask, don't tell" and hang on to gay soldiers who tell, even if they tell the press.

happy birthday bucky!

Originally uploaded by Celesta Danger.