Yeti Detector

 
Reconciliation

John and Linda hadn't seen each other since the Tupperware Debacle of '98. Sipping their little umbrella drinks and fishing nervously for conversation, they prayed for death to come swiftly.

Death came swiftly enough in the form of an impish little Chinese waiter and, although it wasn't the corporal sense of morality, the optimistic tone of the evening was about to go squish.

While Chinese restaurants are allowed to serve octopus, there are no statutes mandating that somebody take the time to kill the poor beast, often with newsworthy results.

Passersby incorrectly advised authorities that a man with "bagpipes" left Fighting Chang's Dragon Palace in pursuit of what investigators have come to refer to as "Linda".

The couple dining next to John and Linda recalled the two discussing movie times and making labored chit chat. Suddenly, an employee of the restaurant exhibited the heroics of yore by fleeing the immediate area and never being seen again.

Linda and John weren't so lucky. The ink sorta transformed them into one of those cute couples who pick out matching outfits, but the Tupperware lid sound of the creatures’ suckers repeatedly slapping them out the restaurant's exit was hardly cute. Like a bouncer in Neptune's court, the beast escorted them out of the restaurant and into a cab. The threesome was last heard arguing about where to cap off the evening.

story by Troy England Evitt
illustration by Ashley Holt