Bush drops Miers, taps Sidore for Supreme Court

Creek Running North

In an unusual turn of events, the President revealed his choice of a substitute nominee in response to a question asked at the press conference. "Heh. As it just so happens," said the president, "we went ahead and had that one covered. My nominee for Associate Justice of the Supreme Court is Sidore, who recently came to my attention in an article in a liberal publication, now that you come right down to it. I think everyone will agree that my nominee has one of the finest legal minds ever nominated by my administration for any position.

Sidore, a Chicago resident, was manufactured by RealDoll, a subsidiary of Abyss Creations, a California-based firm. Accordng to that company, Sidore features a completely articulated skeleton which allows for anatomically correct positioning, as well as an exclusive blend of the most expensive silicone rubbers for an ultra-flesh like feel.

Initial response by conservatives to the nomination verged on jubilant. "I believe that this nominee may be the ideal female Supreme Court nominee," said fundamentalist activist James Dobson. "I was willing to gamble that Ms. Miers would listen to the concerns of people of faith, but this candidate is clearly the better listener."

Conservative pundit Jonah Goldberg agreed. "If I were involved in litigation that went to the Supreme Court, I'd rather it be heard by someone like Sidore, rather than by a real woman who's possibly lying to meet her own ends. I'm sure that's got the feminists here chomping at the bit, but as I've said, I'm not misogynist; I just don't like liars, especially when jurisprudence is involved. Being adjudicated by a doll eliminates that possibility."

via Pandagon