Going around and around and around with Minnesota's RollerGirls

"Whose ass is that?"

Minnesota RollerGirls founder Mary Donnelly Silverstein (a.k.a. Head Trauma) asks the question with genuine confusion as we stand on the patio of Psycho Suzi's Motor Lodge, ogling the mess of bodies participating in the league's Twister fundraiser.

On the mat is a guy who paid five bucks to tangle with four of the rowdiest girls in the state. At the moment, he's barely visible, trapped in a cage woven of legs clad in fishnet stockings, striped knee socks, and little else. The RollerGirls play fast and loose with the rules, knocking each other over and arguing the caller's claims that they're out. Finally the only ones left are the guy and Michelle Powers (a.k.a. Holly Go-Fightly), a brunette in a crimson miniskirt and straw cowboy hat.

For a while it looks like a stalemate. Then Michelle Will (a.k.a. Led Debby) steps in with an assist. She's wearing huge '70s cop sunglasses, a fake moustache, red hot pants, shiny pantyhose, and rainbow striped socks. Picture a "Sabotage" Beastie Boy dressed for Jazzercise. Out of nowhere she tackles the hapless guy, making Powers the winner. Behind me, a girl shouts, "If one RollerGirl can't do it, two sure as hell can!"

Point taken. If you mess with one, you'd better be ready to take on all of them.

But as I watch, what I'm thinking is, This is what they do to an outsider who's not even wearing protective gear. The spectacle stirs fear in me for a particular reason: I've already committed to tying on some skates and joining the girls for practice next week.

Full story in the Minneapolis City Pages.